I am the center of a venn diagram of friends.
I am part of multiple different friend ‘groups.’ These groups all have ‘core’ members, people who are naturally associated with that group whenever it is brought up in conversation or thought about. I am not a ‘core’ member of any of them, instead mixing and merging between the groups depending on what’s going on and who I happen to be around at a particular moment.
This normally presents very few problems. I have multiple different options for who to hang out with, who to call when I’m bored, who I can talk to or bake brownies with/for. I’m a ‘P.’ Options are good for me.
I am the center of a venn diagram of friends, and normally I’m good with that.
But then the circles start to move.
This isn’t a permanent move. It just happens for big occasions. A dance, a long holiday…those kinds of things. But the circles are compacting, and they’re shifting away from each other.
And when you’re the center of the diagram, you get left behind.
You’re too late to try and latch on to one circle, and you feel like you’d be intruding on another. One’s just out of reach before you can grab on, and another has disappeared with no sign whatsoever.
The middle of a venn diagram is not a great place to be when all the circles aren’t there anymore. Because, as you’ve most likely realized, it no longer exists.
One is the loneliest number.
Being the “leftover” isn’t fun. It hurts, and I spend far more time than I’m proud of wishing that, for once, I was someone’s number one choice. Just for something.
I love my friends. I honestly, truly do. They have meant so much to me, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I don’t write this to guilt trip anyone or to throw a pity party for myself. There’s a reason I’m posting this at a time when most people should be asleep.
I just needed to vent and get it out there. That’s all. (And Mom and Dad, I know you’re reading this, so please do not call me concerning this. I promise I’m fine. Honestly.)
That’s all for my venting. Good night.