3, 2, 1…breathe

So it’s been over a week since I’ve blogged, for which I apologize. I’d use Thanksgiving break as an excuse, but I actually had more free time this past week than normal, so I’ll just blame writer’s block instead.

Anyway, I’m getting over a little bout of minor congestion. This is actually fairly common for me after I go home for any extended length of time. I suddenly go from busy-busy-busy all the time and averaging around 6 hours of sleep a night (7.5 on a good night) to ultra-relaxed and having the luxury of sleeping 9+ hours every night for nearly a week. This apparently confuses my body to a great extent and so it decides to get sick on me.

Yippee. Cue the Kleenex and Sudafed.

The funny part is, no matter how many times this whole rigamarole happens (and it’s happened a decent amount over the last 3.5 years), it always surprises me when it does.

Why? Because I never realize just how busy and stressed out I actually am until I’m out of my routine completely.

At school, I am constantly on the go. Whether it’s classes, my internship, or my other commitments, my weeks are booked solid. And on those rare afternoons/nights/weekends that I do have wide open, they are quickly filled up with random other activities (normally involving friends and food). And I never get to rest.

Scratch that. It is very rare that I let myself rest.

And then I go home. And I have no big responsibilities and very few commitments and I can sleep however late I want to and eat non-institutional food and I realize just how full I make my life.

Because it’s all me. I’m the one who chooses to be involved with so much on campus, to prioritize friend time over sleep time, and to generally just be busy. I thrive on the challenge of it. When I’m left with too much alone time, I have no idea what to do with myself. So, I fill it with more stuff.

This has become my routine, my standard way of living. And judging from that fact that I get sick when I’m “ripped” from this routine, it’s obviously not the healthiest thing I can be doing for myself.

I feel like now that I’ve assessed this for myself I should be coming to some great conclusion about how I’m going to slow down and give myself more time to rest. That I’m going to make time to relax and sleep more and stress out less and all that jazz.

But to be quite honest, I can’t say any of that. I know myself far too well, and I know that I’ll keep being just as busy and just as stressed because that’s just part of my personality (both nature and nurture arguments apply).

But it’s something I know I need to work on. It’s a work in progress. And I’ll let you know how I’m progressing…in, like, ten years or so.


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